Charcoal adorns my head as I walk to my 8 am. Its gray cross fills me with anxiety. I pass classmates also demonstrating their belief every Ash Wednesday. I fear that in their eyes, they see my hypocrisy, my imperfections of faith. It is never easy to display so blatantly what my religion is.

I have grown up most of my life in a faithful family, the type with church every Sunday and Bible studies throughout the week. Back then, my biggest shortcoming was not being able to recite the books of the Bible. From the age of 16-21, I can think of quite a few failures in living up to my faith. They held me back and built up a reluctance to admit to my belief. Ash Wednesday acted as a catalyst for my spiritual journey. 

Why is it that I and many others who were raised in faithful households, Christian or not, do not speak our faith or openly admit to it?

I believe that it stems from the Danger of confronting who you are and what you do that doesn’t match up with the values of your faith. This confrontation within yourself always comes right before publicly pronouncing your faith. It’s a gut-wrenching prospect, the people around you expecting someone full of grace, wisdom, and love; yet you are constantly less than those things, maybe even tragically so. I believe that students at University of Evansville, including myself, are struggling to express their beliefs not because of faithlessness, but instead a fear of judgement, one that stems from the internal desire to be perfect.

Why isn’t it due to a lack of belief? Empirical studies have concluded that Generation Z and Millennials have nearly doubled their church attendance since 2020, as seen in “Young Adults Lead a Resurgence in Church Attendance (Barna)”. What is even more shocking is that this attendance exceeds that of the Boomer Generation. Our generation is leading a comeback in youth attending church and religious celebrations. There is a great religious shift originating from a desire to live meaningfully in a changing world. So, based off that, UE would have to be an anomaly to have religious students as a minority, regardless of their religion. The university is swept up in this religious revival, no matter how silent it is. 

So, with the world swirling around us in a religious revival, there is one logical answer: we wish to gain the benefits of an enriched spiritual life, yet fear prevents us from fully proclaiming the very thing that nourishes us. For those silent believers struggling to speak their faith into the world, face your imperfections without shame. This is not a demand for absolute sanctity, but instead a reminder of the higher calling before you, which requires only pursuit not completion. In your pursuit, relentlessly forgive your shortcomings for as said by Saint Augustine, “This is the very perfection of a man, to find out his own imperfections.”