Recently, UE made history by welcoming the first known transgender student into Greek Life. This student, who asked for anonymity to maintain respectful privacy, spoke about their experience joining and participating in their chapter as a part of the Queer Memory Project Changelab, which aims to provide more visibility for Queer history on campus.
INTERVIEWER: Just to start off with, what was your experience like joining Greek Life? What do you generally have to say about that time?
STUDENT: I found it to be more anxiety inducing than I would have expected it to be, especially because I feel like a lot of people get to just join a fraternity or sorority because of their gender assigned at birth – and then I joined my fraternity and all of a sudden I could feel everyone perceiving me all at once. I could feel their eyes and what I “needed” to be anytime we would go out into the public with my fraternity.
It was a scary situation to be in, but I wouldn’t give it back for the world because the place I joined is my home and I feel safe with them and accepted by them.
INTERVIEWER: You describe it as scary. What can you share about that? Were there any specific actions or general things that made it stressful?
STUDENT: At my Passover I had chants made at me, a lot of them insinuating that I’m not a real man. I also had multiple fraternity members refuse to shake my hand at formal events, and I’ve generally just been treated as less-than at Greek life events.
INTERVIEWER: And what about support systems? How did UE do in making sure you felt safe and accepted? Was there anything you felt they did well or could’ve done better?
STUDENT: I did file a complaint about the chants. The university did a pretty good job handling it and they made sure I was comfortable with the ways they handled it. They only took the complaint as far as I wanted it to go, which was respectful and helpful. I think in the future, diversity training for student organizations just to learn how to be respectful would help a lot, especially for any new trans and queer students.
INTERVIEWER: Have you seen anyone else – younger trans students joining Greek Life – go through things similar in recent years?
STUDENT: I’ve seen and heard a lot of people talk about their experiences of people looking at them weird, and refusing to shake their hands is a thing too. I’ve heard some fraternities just treat them kind of strangely and that forces them [other trans members] to have to kind of walk on tip-toes in order to avoid being made fun of or seen as an outcast. I’ve watched them go through those same struggles, and it does make me sad to see.
INTERVIEWER: Do you ever regret joining a fraternity?
STUDENT: No. I think the people that I found are so great that all of the bad experiences wash away.
INTERVIEWER: Is there anything else you wanted to add, just to kind of ‘get it on the record’?
STUDENT: I will say, it is kind of scary to be the first of anything. I feel proud to know that I was able to provide a safe space and make a path for more people like me to find somewhere they can call home. That brings me more happiness than any chanting or rejection could damage. That’s where my joy lies.
It’s important to illuminate the discrimination and opposition people face so that we can learn from it and shape our future to build a better world for the next ones in our footsteps. This student underwent things no student should have to, but someone needed to in order to pave the path towards acceptance and understanding.